Why women have affairs?
Chat about a loaded topic that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on since the beginning of the world. Extramarital affairs can be filled with troubles, cause despair, and other harms. Plus you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness issue, funds, age difference, faith education, shame, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I will classify an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, date married man.
Why do people have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are women seeking an affair. I think mainly though it is only the human condition, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and exciting, and sex makes us flee the real world for a small period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Some people are able to turn the desire on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another being, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos society has erected against extramarital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will defeat their worries and make them risk the anger of not only their relatives, but the public too. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is horribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not harm your relatives or anyone else? You would need to reduce the danger you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest cluster, colossal really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they feel happy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the children to consider. Your money are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live jointly besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An affair from time to time solves the trouble while keeping the marriage whole.
Avoidance, sadly this is a ordinary groung I fear. One or the other, generally the guy is sexually neglecting his female for a multitude of reasons. As a male I truly appreciate you guys neglecting your girls and making them available to us guys of romance, making them “hot wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, could be caring is not here, maybe it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Could be we have just developed separately, our relulas concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is diverce of what you want. Maybe I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for financial gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.